Boys just wanna have FUN

Last night Julius and Max's friend Diego came over for an impromptu sleep over. Bath time was the fave...

The photo does not do any justice because they were too busy to pose for me, but fun was had. <3

Going gluten, egg and milk free...

I've always loved the saying "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Well we've gotten some lemons recently. Julius has some severe allergies, well at the moment officially only birch and horse but last Monday the buys were a bit fluish still from the previous weekend's flu attack so they stayed home from daycare for an extra day. Julius woke up from his nap screaming "äiti, there is blood everywhere!" The few seconds it took me to run upstairs were torture, with all the scenarios in my head I was relieved to find both kids in one piece. The relief was short lived when I saw Julius' neck. I was bleeding and had no skin at all. While I was able to get the neck healing now his whole body reacted, and badly. Tuesday the situation looked like this

So I thanked God for insurance and got him a private doctor since the public side would just take too long. Thursday we went for loads of blood tests and while we are still waiting for results the doc put him (but in reality the whole family) on a strict diet. No dairy, no wheat, oat, rye, barley or egg. The trip got the shop was a bit of a disaster, but we're adjusting. The good news is that after two days on this diet he look like this:

The improvement is amazing. I'm just praying it lasts and that we would finally find a reason for it. I'm sick of hearing the words atopic eczema because I firmly believe (I know I'm not a doctor) that there has to be a trigger and a reason for this. While I never wish for my little man to have allergies or have gluten issues, it would be a huge relief to find a reason. Luckily we have so many options nowadays and Finland is well supplied in gluten free products. After a while, I think it will be easy enough to deal with. Thanks to facebook I got so many comforting comments that now I feel like it is not a big deal, and that it seems that almost every family has to deal with something like this...

Never ending project: me

There's been very few moments in my life that I have actually felt good about my body. First too small, then bad skin, too big, too something else. My high school graduation is actually the ONLY moment I can remember (if you don't count early childhood when you don't even think of these things) And that was quite a while ago already. I've spent most of my life feeling ugly. Thinking when I hear people laughing, they're laughing at me. When people pass me by, they must think I'm disgusting. A waste of space. I could Never say no to anyone, because they might not want to be my friend anymore. In my life I have had some people, Tonny especially, who have made me feel I'm ok, and that they find me beautiful. But I've felt it as how they see me, never how I see myself. 

When I turned thirty last year I decided enough is enough. This endless feeling of sadness when I look into the mirror. But I didn't want a quick fix, because I have tried those before, I wanted a change, a total mind, body and soul transformation. And it took time. For the first couple of months I didn't even do anything about my body. I was looking for HOW to do it in a way that would finally lead to success. I finally found an exercise program that made me push hard, so I could feed the competitive side of myself, and yet it couldn't take up too much time or money so that I would and could stick to it no matter what. Chris Powell's book choose to lose helped me a lot. It simplified it, gave me basic ground to start from. I started 31.12.. Weighing 73 kilos on that day. The progress was good and while I was still struggling it made sense, and gave me hope. Unfortunately pneumonia, influenza, and an ear infection made me sick for two months... After that there was a long way to bounce back. Moments when i just wanted to give up. So I took it slow and decided to work on my mind and soul for a while. Reading books that shaped my life and how I saw food. I think that this was actually the fact that finally made me bounce back and gain confidence I lost at the age of 9 by bullies at school. I know who I am now and all of a sudden my weight started falling off again.

I still have five kilos to drop to reach my original goal of 57 kg, but surprisingly yesterday before my evening workout I looked into the mirror and actually liked what I saw. I smiled. I know I will drop the weight, but even if I wouldn't I know now I don't have to to like myself anymore. I feel sad that the little girl that was called too skinny, white and small, had friends one day and then no one would speak to her the next day, got so lost that I took me all this time to find her and learn that it's ok to love her again. I don't know why they decided it was ok to kill my confidence, I guess they didn't know how deeply they hurt me back then. I'm finally free. I'm finally me again.

    Happy me before a workout

Maiju

Home again...

We've been home for two weeks now, and exhausted is the word. The kids are only starting day care on 29th so on top of managing the house, food, laundry, a full time job, I need to manage babysitters and drive the kids around. One more week then back to normal... Somehow we'll make it. 

In the middle of all this I'm yearning for control and organization. Thus a closet re-organization..

Here are the results:

When the stress becomes too much, I just sit and stare at this heaven of organization. Everything has it's place. And it's tagged so I can find them quick and easy, and when T returns, he can also keep everything in order.. Don't worry love, I saved some space for you too ;).

Living in africa...

Everything is good. I keep getting messages from Finland, asking how is it. And I struggle to answer. It's life, and we love it. Max is starting to talk more, he has added new words during our trip: kissa, kukka, Asante, babu, Bibi, apua, anna. He can use these words quite effectively to get what he wants. :)

While Julius has always spoken Swahili with Tonny, he struggled to speak it to anyone else. Somehow, in his head it was just him and his baba using it. But yesterday I watched him have a whole conversation in Swahili with Abraham. I big discussion about what shoes he wants to wear. Every time kids amaze me how quick and easy they can adopt into new situations.

We had a disaster with Julius's skin after the first load of laundry was done. Stupid me I didn't even question what detergent do they use. All of a sudden the guy was full of rash and scratching his skin off faster than we could blink. And now I say thank you google. This disaster made me do one night of research until I found myself looking at the solution at solveeczema.org. We have always used mild detergent and that has helped to keep it some what under control, but what this website suggests it getting rid and preventing it. I now believe Julius has a detergent allergy. We switched to washing him with REAL soap, and all of our clothes, towels etc. the results are amazing. The skin that was pretty much bleeding in places has cleared up completely!! And without cortisone! He still gets some reaction from clothes (we had them washed three times but detergent is persistent)  but it is such a relief to know that why does it happen and when I wash him with soap at night I can see it all going away within few hours.

What this means though it quite thorough change. Mixing our own laundry soap, trying to hunt for real soap product for everything, and checking each and every lotion, tooth paste, even food for the SLS and buddies... But if it helps him then I do it with a song in my heart <3

Days are running and soon it's time to head home... I wish we didn't have to and I hope we can get back soon...

So how did we get from 2011 to 2013???

So, whet exactly has been going on during the last two years.

Small recap:

At six months Julius started baby led weaning (lazy mom, I know) and instantly became an expert at it. Loved food, became even chubbier if possible. He learned to crawl at nine months (skipping the army version completely). I think that's where we left off..Here's Julius at the gym with me around that time - love the chubbiness <3

Summer basically went by in a rush and soon it was time to make some changes for the growing family. We bought a semi-detached house in Kulju that was under construction. We had to say goodbye to Piettasenristi, our very first own home but before heading to Kulju we lived at mom's and babu's for four months. While it was tough at times I was extremely grateful for the rent free living situation. It was also so sweet to see Julius bonding with mom, carrying their mops and vacuuming together (activities are little bit different at Mummula). 

We celebrated Julius's first birthday in Särkänniemi zoo with friendly and family. 

Beginning of November the big move to Kukkolantie came and we were officially Lempäälä people. 

Getting the house ready while 8-9 months pregnant was certainly an experience. gladly we have alot of friends and family around to aid us in many ways. December 25th, the birth of our second baby boy changed our lives yet again.

It was Christmas Day and Minna, Jarkko, Daniel, Miikka, Katja, Aki and Mikael as well as Vaari were coming for Christmas Day meal. They arrived around three and we sat down to enjoy Kinkku around 15:30. Nice meal, so dessert and yes I was feeling the contractions. But because Max had basically given me contractions for the last three months (up to the point I had to take it really easy) I thought no way it's anything. He was already couple of days over due - I know after all the drama of fearing an early birth - but still I thought it was just another false alarm. After the guests left I lied down on the sofa expecting them to stop since finally I was able to relax, but nothing. Around six thirty I called mom I'm taking a bath but if this continues we are bringing Julius and heading to the hospital. Well around eight we were at mom's. I still remember sitting on the red chair silently breathing through a contraction Katja saying you can't be far along, look at you just sitting there, but inside I knew it's go time. We still tried to go for a walk with Tonny but barely made it half-way around the building when I said we need to get going to the hospital. I started crying when saying good-bye to Julius, I felt bad that his time as the baby was over, would I have enough love for both of them (looking back I know, it was never a really worry, just an emotional moment). At nine we entered the hospital. The lady put me to the monitor for 20 minutes and the last five of those I felt like murdering someone if they didn't come to help me soon. Finally she decided to check me and was a bit surprised to notice I was already at 7 cm. Perfect timing... Upstairs, please. So when I got to the delivery room they asked me what I want for pain. Pcp worked well with Julius so I said let's do that again. The doctor came and after that some relief. The midwife waited two contractions to see it's working and then left. The problem is that then, after the next one it wasn't helping and in fact I really felt like pushing. I made Tonny call her back quickly and she said, push if you feel like pushing. Two pushed and Max was in my arms. 22:53. Thank you God.

Two days old. Big brother admiring :)

I'll take good care of you...

Max was baptized on February at our home. Max William Missokia. 100% pure joy. Maximum energy.

The family of four...

The amazing extended family.. Some already had left the party, but we had Bibi and Babu from all the way Tanzania as well as my grandma and lots of friends. Modern Living in Finland.

Julius got to go to disco for the first time when we took Bibi and Shangazi to Sweden.

LOVING GOOD JAMMING...

Life settled to nice routine after that. School and kids for me, work and familytime, FT, for Tonny. Last summer in Kukkolantie was spent with wonderful neighbors.

Tarmo and Julius

Lari, Nikolas, Max and Julius

Nikolas babysitting.

Beautiful Max.

Beginning of October I went back to work and the kids started day care in November, after getting  to spend one month with Baba. Working, day care, kids, illnesses, school for both of us, Tonny's new business and maintaining the old also... The whole spring passed in a bang. As said now we are in Tanzania enjoying the luxury of vacation time, while Tonny is setting up his business. Depending on how things turn out the whole family might be relocating here eventually. LONG way to go though, and now it's time for hard work. The products arrive soon, then it's hello Tanzania, here is Battery energy drink!! Tonny started working on this already back in 2008, and after many hours of labor, meetings, finding the right connections the time has come. We are all amazed of his accomplishment, and praying for him to make the next stage of his project workout too!