How do you define you?

I have been lacking time and energy to keep up with the posting, but with DSM gymnastics on a break it's time to get talking again. I have been keeping up with the news in Finland and more than one friend of mine is struggling with lay offs and job losses. I feel for them and can realte well to financial struggles that they might be having. This has gotten me thinking thinking of why am I so much happier here than I was with my life in Finland, because on paper I definitely got the short end of the stick.

this little guy takes away all the worries of the world... it does, really, he is magical, as is his big brother

Let's compare.

In Finland
1) new house designed with anything and everything we wanted
2) nice, well paying job
3) new Nissan qashquai +2 car
4) 2.0 kids and a husband
5) new phones, ipads, clothes, whatever we wanted at our fingertips

In Tanzania
1) small 2 bedroom rented apartment, BTW no oven
2) couple of companies to run to make ends meet
3) used Nissan Safari car - (that is currently in the garage for the fourth month because the insurance we had for it turned out to be fake)
4) 2.0 kids and husband (some things have not changed)
5) still struggling to find most of the things that belonged to my everyday life in Finland

During my journey into the life of an immigrant I have learned some things that might have been self evident to others but were not for me.

Money does not define me. My bank account does not define me. And by the way it is very liberating to say that sorry, can't afford that now, rather than trying to pretend that I can. Money is just money: "pieces of papers with numbers on it" -Buffy (:P)

Who I am, how my children look at me defines me. Working on projects that might make loads of money some day but are at the start up level for now makes me happier, and more content than anything else. The fact that I can work around my kids schedule, and be there for them while they are still small gives me happiness beyond anything else. Yes having less money to work with gets irritating - and at the same time "normal" things for me are super duper expensive. But in the end, does it matter?? Does having less money here make me lesser me somehow??? 

Every once in a while I take a step back and think if I made the right choice. I sit down, go through a relaxation exercise and when I have brushed away the stresses of every day life I ask myself. If tomorrow would be the last day of my life, would I be living it here doing this or go back to Finland and sell insurances. (Of course if it was the last day I would spend it with all my loved ones but you get the idea...) I always always always choose this life over that. I am not saying that this is the life for us forever, but this is THE life for us for now. So happier me is worth a millon euros more than the actual million euros on the bank account would. I'll get the money someday. I hope. <3 font="">

Ámate, part 2

For the past few weeks I have been asked "did you lose weight" about 100 times. And I have no idea. I have no scale, my mirror is 20 x 30 cm, so in the traditional sense I have no idea. Yes the clothes feel loose but coming from a culture where I used to weigh myself atleast weekly, it feels rather strange to not know.

A year ago when I moved to tz I know I dropped some kilos. But some of them came back when I spent the summer in Finland. The way I eat there just doesn't seem to suit me. Toward the end of last year we did a work related photo shoot at the beach and to my horror when I was going through the pictures I had been captured in my bikini. I was not very happy about how I looked in those pics. 

I can't say that I was very big, I was just not in any shape at all. Like a 20 min walk would exhaust me. But the funny thing is I didn't go on a crazy diet/fitness frenzy, but slowly learned to love this Maiju and take a better care of this Maiju. 

A few weeks later I started to coach again and beginning of this year found a sport that I truly enjoy: pole fitness. For the first time in years my lifestyle is active. It's not a plan to get fit for the summer, or for anything else. Just being more active and eating loads of good fresh food. (It doesn't hurt that a plate of fresh octopus costs around 4 euros😉) I eat less bread, because it's not as good (or cheap) here, but I will have the occasional chocolate, ice cream, brownie, cake, pizza or a burger if there is a reason for it. I have learned that if I try to cut down all the sugary sweetness I eventually go off the deep end and it gets ugly.

So to answer the question. I guess. But for me it's just been a journey back to an active lifestyle and a fun new hobby. And hey, if I get re-aquinted with my abs because of it - it's all good. 😘

Update on Minimalism

In my pursuit for happiness (= minimalism in my head right now), I've made a discovery of my personality. I am picky. This is how I found that out.

I've been going through the steps of creating a dream wardrobe. And let me say thank you Pinterest, because getting dressed has evidently become a scientific experiment that no normal person can manage in their own.

For those of you still in the shopping is my cardio-zone here's what you are supposed (😜) to do to achieve that killer wardrobe.

Step1 the purge

Clearing out the closet. Donate, throw away, keep. I got that down so bad that I actually had to stop before I was happy or I would've had to join a nudist community.

Step 2 design your style 

This is the best excuse ever to enjoy the world of Pinterest😍, the haven of visual people. Identifying that I have three different roles that I need to function was the key point. There is the work-at-home-busy-mom-of-active-boys-do-it-while-looking-32-and-cute-Maiju. Ha! Easy😜. This turns into outfits that have to be comfortable, but look nice. If I stay in my pajamas the whole day, I won't be able to kick in the work-Maiju. I also don't want to wear a suit at home. Nooooot. So I identified that easy uniform for this is some cute blouse and shorts, maybe a stretchy dress or skirt - sometimes. 

The other Maiju is business Maiju. Very minimal role in my life but sometimes I do need to attend meetings and look professional. It can't be just one outfit, so the customers don't think I only have one dress. I have one dress now. 😝

Then I have the coach-Maiju. It's hot. Like really really hot. And I can easily have 17 kids to coach. And I didn't prepare to have this role in Tanzania. Still no idea what to wear to be comfy, not sweating like 🐷 in 2 minutes, and also somehow not be too naked. Respecting the fact that there is a mixture of cultures going on here.

Step 3 shop to complete

The shopping is supposed to be about grabbing pieces that will bring together the whole wardrobe and makes it mix-and-matchable. In Tanzania. Yeah, right.😎

So I'm back in being picky. I keep going to shop and coming back with empty hands. This is coming from a person that at age 14 was given an hour to shop (this was a competition trip and tight schedule) and actually came back with one of those massive sacks (jätesäkki) full of clothes. Is it Tanzania? Have I changed? The directions keep saying that really think if you want to bring this item into your home, will it match with several other pieces? Will it? WILL IT? And I keep running out of the shop in panic thinking it won't, it won't... 

So I've become picky. Who would've thought??? And soon will be writing my application to the nudist community.

Enjoy your day!!

Hey, it's Easter..flu

I caught flu last Friday night. Unfortunately on the worst possible moment, since Saturday morning I had 5 hours of OPEN GYM coaching: parents are welcomed to the class and will observe every little thing I do with their little Angels. I actually do enjoy this type of class, that I do every season, but doing it when you are sick is not a piece of cake! My savior became the last bag of Finrexing (FYI Päivi I hope you can top me up on your next route over here) - the magical fairy enegry flu kicking dust that makes you feel invinsible for about 4 hours. There was no evil feedback so maybe I managed ok :)

But the flu stuck. Normally I can kick almost anything in a day or two but it's now Thursday and this is the first day I feel a bit better - and when I say better I'm about a cm above "oh my &/((%%("#, I will die with this flu" and heading towards "it's ok I can't breath or talk or hear that well, I don't feel like I'm dying anymore". My super kit of natural and medical remedies are helping me push through this. It has to be over soon. Right? Pretty pleaaase????

Needless to say last Sunday was not very Eastery for us. I'm glad there is the second weekend to work on that, and get some egg hunting going on around the house for my little monkeys. For now, I'm happy that Suomi-koulu classes brought some Easter feeling into this house.

Time management

I've always considered myself as a quite good time planner. Growing up with school, gymnastics and piano classes several times a week I had to. I never missed an assignment or was late anywhere, and those lessons have carried me until now. Now I'm baffled. 

Balancing work, DSMgymnastics, my little guys, my big guy and myself seems to be a bit too much. I set up plans beginning of this year to take care of all that, and yet like a house of cards the plans have fallen apart and I have failed to keep those promises. Every couple of weeks things just fall apart and I have to slow down. It might be a that one of the kids had a bad night, or just some stress at work or with DSM but like clockwork every three weeks my shoulder gets this pain that is telling me to slow down. So something is not working. Then I start skipping my workouts, which actually makes it worse, and yet against all sense I still skip them. Which means I'm cranky and tired in the morning when the kids get up and rushing around the house to get everything ready. I even miss breakfast sometimes, I who for the last 9 years have been lecturing T the importance of it, and then I'm hungry at the office and struggling to get anything done. Which makes me over eat at lunch and tired after it. See the wheel of badness happening? I usually get a grip after a day or two of badness and hold on to the routine for a few weeks and enjoy life as it is working out until things fall apart again.

So, now, you busy moms, working moms, stay at home moms, or dads even, give me your advice. Do you have it all figured out? What tools (like real actual tools like apps or planners) do you use to make it work? Clearly I need some aid in figuring out a multi-project-based life with some sanity.

SMILE

I’m feeling down today. Is it the Finnish gene in me that activates when the weather gets dark and rainy? Or is it just being over exhausted from this weeks busy work schedule? All I know is that I don't want to do anything but listen to Robert Downey Jr. CD (my official theme cd when feeling grumpy since 2004). The only thing pushing me today is finishing the day with the adult gymnastics class - I get energy from my little group of adults, sometimes it feels like a little therapy session to complain about what is happening here - other times it's just nice to be around people who love a hard workout as much as I do.

But I am grateful weekend is coming and it will give me a chance to reload and recuperate. I love weekends. Saturday mornings are still busy for me with my gymnastics classes but when it hits 13:30 I get to go home and switch off for the rest of the weekend. Eat good food, do the same puzzles with my kids at least a hundred times, and read books. Sunday mornings are lazy: we all cuddle up in the bed and eat pancakes for breakfast. What could be better than that?

It's dark and rainy in Dar. Feels like September in Finland. At least it's not cold by my standards (+25) - I'm not that much of a Tanzanian. Yet. :) And hey I get to end up my night we these little darlings... There's a silver lining to everything 😘😘😘